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years ago. One of the crew members remains so traumatized from (unbeknownst to her) when life is particularly stressful. The memory
the incident to this day that they have not returned to airline duty. of her special little guy raises my spirits.
“How sad,” my wife said. “Can you imagine how they would have
felt if anyone had died?” Aleeah’s parents had another child, a healthy boy (they had an
older son at the time of her birth). Tragically, the mom succumbed
I immediately was struck by the fact that when we lose a patient, to cancer a few years later. The boys remain my patients, and I have
although we are traumatized, we almost invariably go right back to eagerly followed their academic and athletic achievements through
work. Christopher died on a weekend, so I had a chance to process it. high school. The dad and I always embrace when we see each other
I learned of Aleeah’s death while seeing patients. I paused, hugged my — he is a large, muscular man who swallows me up in his arms. His
nurse who had been as close to the family as I had been, and went into resilience after losing a child and spouse is remarkable, and I hope to
the next room. I imagine I told myself my patients needed me and that have the same reserves if placed in a similar situation.
keeping to a routine would help with the loss.
“Because I could not stop for Death –
Although we cannot always do it immediately, we need to grieve He kindly stopped for me –
the loss of our patients. And not just with the family — we must set The Carriage held but just Ourselves –
aside time for ourselves, whether alone or with loved ones, to mourn And Immortality.”
them, honor them and remember what they taught us. If we were
especially close to the patient, taking a mental health day may be — Emily Dickinson
required. So be it. Our patients most likely will wait for us. Besides,
if they understand our reason for taking time away from practice, I’m Trivia Question:
fairly certain they will see us as more humane and compassionate … Who was Louis Washkansky? Answer on page 10.
and feel more connected.
Two Postscripts
Although Christopher’s parents divorced and moved away, his
mother and I remain close and keep in touch often. Maybe it’s all
in my head, but it seems his mother has a knack for contacting me
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Mecklenburg Medicine • May 2016 | 7
