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cystoscopies. When I returned home, I crawled back into bed,                    When my dignified, gentle octogenarian patient came with her
completely spent. If I tried to power through, I was punished by a            granddaughter, and they complained of her memory loss, the anguish
headache and exhaustion that lasted the entire day.                           beneath their calm demeanors touched the anguish about my mother in
                                                                              my own heart. I felt their fear of her loss of her cherished autonomy. I
  I now see I had maintained a barrier to the recognition that such           listened carefully to their concerns. Referring her for further evaluation, I
illnesses could afflict my own family. And, instead of peeking over it, I     reassured them I would continue to be her primary care doctor.
stood resolutely behind, expending considerable effort to maintain my
experiences. And embarrassed, as I reflect on all the patients to whom          And then there was my longstanding patient with cocaine-related
I may have spoken casually without realizing the impact of my words,          cardiomyopathy, who glowed with pride at her progress in literacy.
whose profound fatigue I did not appreciate, who endured illnesses            I had seen her through years of cocaine abuse, treatment and then
without the support and resources I had. How many times I wondered,           recovery. Though fond of her, I had felt a chasm separated her
had I dismissed my patients’ questions with bromides masquerading as          problems from mine. Now, as I rejoiced with her, I felt only a fine line
answers? I think of the parents whom I nonchalantly reassured without         of luck and fate divided us.
realizing how their concerns about their children shook their cores.
                                                                                Knowing fear, vulnerability, and helplessness has opened me to
  In my earlier life and career, denial had its uses. It prevented the        empathy and connection with others.
paralysis that might have ensued had I realized how fraught with
challenge and sadness the road ahead might be. More recently, my                Denial has its place. But having life shatter the protective walls
personal entanglements with suffering have changed me. Where once             of denial and free the energy required to maintain them has proved
I tried to help people with issues I thought I never would encounter,         strangely liberating.
I now realize their circumstances could be mine. Seeing difficult
situations that have not befallen my family — substance abuse,                Reprinted version of an essay published in “On Being A Patient” in
estrangement, domestic violence — I now am less likely to judge and           Annals of Internal Medicine, December 5, 2017.
more able to be attuned to the pain.
                                                                              Access essay at http://annals.org/aim/article-abstract/2664839/denial.

Charlotte Physicians Lead the Way for Healthier Air                           (PM2.5) can have lethal effects. Dr. Raymond noted that one of the most
at Hospital Construction Sites                                                dangerous sources of PM2.5 comes from diesel engines, even when they
                                                                              are idling. He concluded North Carolina should join the other 35 states
Lawrence Raymond, MD, Thomas Zweng, MD, and Stephen Keener,                   that have enacted mandatory idling limits to improve air quality.

MD, MPH, recently celebrated a major clean air victory with leaders of        Idle-Free Schools Campaign Clears the Air for Kids

         Novant Health, Atrium Health and Clean Air Carolina, a                 Clean Air Carolina’s Clear the Air for Kids Program is
                                                                              providing educational signage and other air quality resources to
         Charlotte-based statewide advocacy group. Drs. Raymond and           public schools in Mecklenburg, Gaston, Union, Cabarrus, Lincoln

         Keener serve on the advisory board for Medical Advocates                                               and Rowan counties to discourage
                                                                                                                unnecessary idling from cars and
         for Healthy Air (MAHA), a Clean Air Carolina initiative. At a                                          buses on school grounds. Signs will
                                                                                                                be placed near school bus lots and
Raymond  meeting several years ago, as part of the Mecklenburg County                                           along the drop-off/pick-up line. More
         Medical Society Public Health Committee, they proposed the                                             than 800 signs are being provided to
                                                                                                                391 schools.
         use of new construction equipment and anti-idling practices
                                                                                                                  Unnecessary idling is a chronic
         to reduce toxic diesel emissions at hospital construction                                              community problem that impacts
                                                                                                                public health. Most people don’t
         sites. The two healthcare systems worked together in 2017                                              realize their vehicles are a source of
                                                                                                                air pollution. When buses and cars are
         to develop a facilities standard requiring the use of low-           idling at the same time on school campuses they create a plume of
                                                                              pollution that is hard to escape. Children’s lungs are still developing
Zweng emission equipment and anti-idling signage. These measures              and they have a faster breathing rate than adults, making them more
                                                                              vulnerable to the impacts of pollution. Research has shown that
         will help protect the health of patients, hospital visitors, staff,  reducing air pollution leads to improved lung function in children
                                                                              ages 11-15, a critical period in lung development. Help our children
         construction workers and neighbors. The commitment to                breathe easier by turning your engine off if you expect to be idling
                                                                              for less than 30 seconds.
         prioritize clean construction practices by Novant Health and
                                                                              Reprinted with permission from Clean Air Carolina.
         Atrium Health serves as a model for other healthcare systems

             in North Carolina and the Southeast. According to the EPA,
Keener every dollar spent on reducing diesel pollution results in

$13 in public health benefits. Email MAHA Manager Rachel McIntosh-

Kastrinsky to learn more about the Clean Construction Partnership at

rachel@cleanaircarolina.org.

Lawrence Raymond, MD, Encourages State
Mandatory Idling Limits for Diesel Engines

  On October 12, Lawrence Raymond, MD, published a letter to
the editor in the “New England Journal of Medicine” discussing the
recent study by Di et al., 2017, that showed that even at levels below
the National Ambient Air Quality Standard, fine particulate matter

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